Now that I have your undivided attention….a recent study published in Cognitive Therapy Research investigated the differences between individuals with and without sexual dysfunction on the automatic thought content (WAYTY–here and forever more known as What Are You Telling Yourself) during sexual activity. Results indicated that both men and women experiencing sexual dysfunction (loss of libido, inability to reach orgasm or achieve erection) report significantly more negative thoughts during sexual activity compared to sexually healthy individuals. Women experiencing sexual dysfunction engage in self talk and cognitions that most often include the following; “I’m not satisfying my partner,” “I’m not getting turned on,” “When will this be over,” and sexual abuse recall like “this is disgusting,” “he only wants to satisfy himself,” and thoughts of not being cared for or lack of affection, low self esteem and negative thoughts about their body image.
Men, on the other hand, reported negative self talk such as “I must be able to have intercourse, ” “I must achieve an erection,” “this is not going anywhere,” “I’m going to fail,” and lack of erotic thoughts.
These negative thoughts are strongly associated with sexual dysfunction.
The role of the counselor would primarily focus on helping the client identify negative thoughts and reframe them to more positive thoughts.
One’s framework of thinking about sex (like anything else) can be shaped by past experiences such as previous sexual abuse, use of or exposure to pornography, physical illness, concern about aging, and other bodily functions.
Sexual intimacy is a vital component of a vibrant marriage relationship. Our self talk (WAYTY) has a dramatic effect on how we approach intimacy.
If you would like additional information or to speak with a counselor, click on the www.thepeacemakercenter.org on the title page.
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