Healing of Addictions
II Corinthians 4:16-17 encourages us to not lose heart or become discouraged even though our outer man is decaying, our inner man is being renewed each day. It’s a daily “process” in which light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. God seems to transform and bring healing to us in at least two distinct ways; an instantaneous miracle, or through a process of peeling back multiple layers of spiritual, emotional, and psychological walls, often compared to “peeling an onion.” This latter process usually occurs over extended periods of time often requiring years or even a lifetime to accomplish. In my experience with counseling those struggling with sexual addictions and sexual sins,...
The Neurobiology of Addictions
Yup you read it right. Neurobiology is a big word for how the brain works. Addictions are those things we can’t stop doing because it feels good. Sexual arousal parallels that of cocaine in its relationship to “pleasure” chemicals in the brain (dopamine for those of you with inquiring minds). Studies show that as far as the brain is concerned, a reward is a reward, whether it’s food, sex, porn, gambling (gamblin for those of you in Tennessee), or shopping. Due to an impaired functioning of certain parts of the brain (frontal cortex for those of you with inquiring minds), individuals with addictions are not able to objectively judge the dangers, risks, or negative impact of their behavior. This leads to instant gratification of...
The Need for Strong Fathers
Despite the MSM’s attempt to “dumb” down the role of men in society by sarcasm and “put-downs” whether it’s in TV commercials, sit-coms, or news stories, which tries to belittle men and their significance, strong fathers are needed even more than ever. Fathers need to lead and be engaged with the family. Bradford Wilcox is professor of Sociology at University of Virginia has written a great article which documents the facts as opposed to myths about today’s fathers. When dads are engaged, teen depression and delinquency is decreased. Affectionate fathers are critical to steering daughters away from early sexual activity. Dare I say (the evidence says) dads are even more critical to preventing early sexual...
Double Standards
I’m sure it goes on regardless of who wields power in Washington, but I can’t recall more examples of double standards not only within the govt but also in the public. It’s recently been revealed that BO’s Supreme Court nominee Sotomayor maintains membership in an exclusive elite all women’s club (Belizean Grove). We’ve already discussed her racist remarks in which she opined that a Latina female would be capable of making a better decision than a white male. Would a white male be approved for the highest court in the land with a similar membership in an all men’s fraternity and then making racist comments alluding to male superiority? Really. See how this sounds. Try to visualize John McCain saying, “I...
What Are You Telling Yourself About (shhhh Sex?)
Now that I have your undivided attention….a recent study published in Cognitive Therapy Research investigated the differences between individuals with and without sexual dysfunction on the automatic thought content (WAYTY–here and forever more known as What Are You Telling Yourself) during sexual activity. Results indicated that both men and women experiencing sexual dysfunction (loss of libido, inability to reach orgasm or achieve erection) report significantly more negative thoughts during sexual activity compared to sexually healthy individuals. Women experiencing sexual dysfunction engage in self talk and cognitions that most often include the following; “I’m not satisfying my partner,” “I’m not getting turned...
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