Posts Tagged "marriage"

If you know me and most of you do, you’re well versed in my mantra of  “what are you telling yourself?” and “Is this true?”  In order to move forward with emotional happiness and stability in life, we must be willing to live in the present.  We must be willing to re-frame the narrative we have each created for ourselves.  This narrative is our story and it’s only our story.  It’s not our mother’s, father’s, friend’s, boyfriend’s, husband’s, wife’s, or anyone else’s, it’s our personal story that we have created and scripted.  This means that only you can change your story.  No one, absolutely no one, can do that for you.  We create this story (remember it’s our...

What do we tell ourselves about resolving conflict?  Often what I find is people tell themselves that “if I avoid the conflict, things will heal on their own.” “If I give it some more time, it will go away.”  This is avoidance and avoidance will not resolve the problem.  It may seem more comfortable for the time being, but ultimately results in prolonged emotional distress and issues.  Other forms of conflict resolution include competing, accommodating, collaborating, and compromising. Competing is a power oriented mode in which the individual pursues his or her personal concerns at the others expense using whatever power seems appropriate to win their position.  This may include threats, warnings, and other uncooperative stances.  In other words,...

Despite the MSM’s attempt to “dumb” down the role of men in society by sarcasm and “put-downs” whether it’s in TV commercials, sit-coms, or news stories,  which tries to belittle men and their significance, strong fathers are needed even more than ever.  Fathers need to lead and be engaged with the family.  Bradford Wilcox is professor of Sociology at University of Virginia has written a great article which documents the facts as opposed to myths about today’s fathers.  When dads are engaged, teen depression and delinquency is decreased.  Affectionate fathers are critical to steering daughters away from early sexual activity.  Dare I say (the evidence says) dads are even more critical to preventing early sexual...

Kathy and I spent the night in a B and B (Gateway House) in Annapolis MD this past weekend.  I’ve never been before but enjoyed the trip tremendously.  Here’s a list of do’s and don’ts.  ( My opinion only) Do eat at the Carol Creek Cafe.  Order the scallops. If you eat at the popular Middleton Tavern, do not order the rockfish on stale lettuce.  Order the coleslaw, skinny fries, and steamed shrimp.  Do not dress up.  Annapolis is very casual. Don’t bring your well bred exotic  dog as everyone else did.  They are uncomfortable in the hot sun and are very thirsty.  They also poop in the street and at roadside cafe’s. Do visit the Naval Academy and do visit the chapel and crypt of John Paul Jones.  And don’t assume...

In the default mindset of emotional isolation, triangles are often created to compensate for the lack of intimacy. Based on family theory systems, when parents cannot solve their conflicts, they are likely to pull in the child who helps to release anxiety and tension. Triangulation occurs when one of the partners (husband or wife) invites a third party to confide in, or escape to, for the purpose of filling one’s emptiness which occurs when emotional intimacy is missing. Some triangles may provide a level of stability for the family without causing damage. Other people outside the home or objects and diversionary activities can also help form the triangle.  For example, instead of intentionally trying to work through and resolve difficult problems...