Posts Tagged "addictions"

The older I get (maturity yanno), the more people I counsel, with every person I get to know in a deeper, closer way, the more I’m convinced we’re all messed up to one degree or another.  Once you get past the veneers, the facades, the masks, have you ever met anyone who was not wounded in some way by a delusional, angry, mother, abusive father, weird relative, peer, spouse, teacher, pastor, priest, church, or boss?  I haven’t.  But if you’re like me, we tend to look at other people and say, “they have it all together.”  “Why can’t I be like them?” I recently attended a Christian men’s retreat designed to address a man’s shame, anger, loss, guilt, and fear.  The transparency from each man was astonishing and refreshing.  I met...

II Corinthians 4:16-17 encourages us to not lose heart or become discouraged even though our outer man is decaying, our inner man is being renewed  each day.  It’s a daily “process” in which light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. God seems to transform and bring healing to us in at least two distinct ways;  an instantaneous miracle, or through a process of peeling back multiple layers of spiritual, emotional, and psychological walls, often compared to “peeling an onion.”  This latter process usually occurs over extended periods of time often requiring years or even a lifetime to accomplish. In my experience with counseling those struggling with sexual addictions and sexual sins,...

Help me feed my addiction.

Yup you read it right.  Neurobiology is a big word for how the brain works.  Addictions are those things we can’t stop doing because it feels good.  Sexual arousal parallels that of cocaine in its relationship to “pleasure” chemicals in the brain (dopamine for those of you with inquiring minds).  Studies show that as far as the brain is concerned, a reward is a reward, whether it’s food, sex, porn, gambling (gamblin for those of you in Tennessee), or shopping.  Due to an impaired functioning of certain parts of the brain (frontal cortex for those of you with inquiring minds), individuals with addictions are not able to objectively judge the dangers, risks, or negative impact of their behavior. This leads to instant gratification of...

The second form of insecure relationship is called the ambivalent attachment because it’s a mixture of  desiring love weighed against anger.  This style may develop when the child is unable to receive love and attention on a consistent basis from the caregiver.  The child develops a framework of thinking that then carrys over into adulthood that says; I am not worthy of love.  I am not capable of getting the love I need without being angry and clingy.  Others are capabale of loving me but might not do so because of my flaws.  They might abandon me.  I am poor at getting the love I need and I must please my loved ones or I will be worthless and unlovable.  The ambivalent attachment style often leads to unhealthy dependent relationships on others. ...