The company I work for has joined in the popular cultural, environmental revolution and is following the fad of “going green.” They’ve taken away our plastic forks and spoons, disposable cups and bottled water from the high school like cafeteria. The napkins are under lock and key requiring a safe combination to get my skinny little fingers in to the slots only to pull down something akin to thin sheet of toilet paper which dissolves on contact with liquid tomato sauce. The water faucets, towel dispensers, and soap dispensers are all automatically activated by a hand wave. I know all this is intended to save the planet and that’s all well and good (if you think our planet needs saving). But does it really save anything? The dishwasher has never been busier washing all those re-usable utensils, instead of using just one or two sturdier napkins, I find myself using triple the amount just to blot my slobbering lips drooling with vegan juice of soy and green peas.
Instead of turning off the water when I’m finished washing my pinkies, I now find myself leaving the sink, exiting the door and gazing back to see the faucet is still pouring water in anticipation of the automatic shut off kicking in. Paper towels are usually dragging on the floor from the wall hanging dispenser because of the same effect (no auto shut off). I know, I’m whining but is all this necessary?
As most of you know, I work for a large pharmaceutical company. Most of the employees have at least a bachelors degree and I would say have at least above average intelligence (present company excluded). I know we’re all capitalist highway robbers, taking advantage of the weak, the infirmed and elderly to fill our profit coffers, but that’s beside the point. Today, in addition to all the automatic dispensers and gizmos at our disposal, the swine flu police posted a 14″ x 18″ plastic (yes that horrible substance plastic) giving us step by step instructions on how to wash our hands. I’m not kidding, Step 1 (with pictures) tells me to wet my hands. Really? News Flash! Wet hands please before washing. Step 2 (with pictures) tells me to add soap from the dispenser. Step 3 tells me to briskly rub hands together. Step 4 tells me to rinse and Step 5 to dry my hands (using the automatic towel dispenser of course). Honestly, do people not have enough to do? Apparently not, so they come up with knuckleheaded ideas like how to save the planet and instructions on how to wash my hands. But we all feel better about doing our small part to save the planet…..so I guess it’s worth it. Right?
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