Whenever our “land line” phone rings at any time of the day, and I answer it, a cheerful voice on the other end greets me with “Is this Mr. Creeecy?” (they always mispronounce my name) I won’t take the time to phonetically spell all of their machinations and mispronunciations. As soon as I’m asked this question, my primary sphincter muscle begins to contract and tighten because I know what follows. DO NOT ANSWER THIS QUESTION if you receive these solicitation calls. As soon as you say “yes, who’s calling?” they begin their monologue selling their wares without taking a breath. For some mysterious reason, once I’ve answered “yes” to “Is this Mr. Creeecy?” I feel like it would be rude for me to just hang up the phone. So, I patiently listen while my sphincter muscle gets tighter and tighter and my blood pressure rises. But in the end (or sometimes I interrupt the chirpy voice on the other end) I say “No thank you.” Then I hang up. No matter what they say, regardless of what they ask me, the answer is “No thank you.”
Apparently my membership to the “Pennsylvania Do Not Call List” recently expired. I have been contacted in the last week by every charity known to humankind asking for my donation. Political lawyers have also phoned to warn me of the impending doom which awaits our country (of which I’m already well aware of) asking for money so they can take our case to the Supreme Court. I’m serious. I received a recorded call from Dick Morris and one other dude (can’t remember his name) asking for a donation (I promised myself that I would not make this a political blog today).
So today, I’ve “re-signed” with the “Do Not Call” list and hopefully it will remedy this nuisance. I’m not sure why we maintain the land line instead of switching entirely to cell phones. Not a single person we know or friend calls the land line. Of course our family and friends use the cell number. Perhaps we feel more secure knowing that if the cell phone battery goes dead because we forgot to plug it in the night before, we still have a life line to the outside world of talk.
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