What are your core beliefs about yourself? You can determine this by answering the following questions: Am I worthy? Am I able to do what I need to in order to get the love I need? Are other people reliable and trustworthy? Are other people accessible and willing to respond to me? John Bowlby believed that
“the infant and young child should experience a warm, intimate, and continuous relationship with his mother (or permanent mother substitute) in which both find satisfaction and enjoyment”
This formed the basis of his attachment theory. The theory basically says that children develop a framework of thinking about their self worth, about others, about their trust in others, and trust in themselves as a result of the child’s ability to have basic needs met by the parents (and mother in particular).
There are four basic attachment styles or ways in which we enter relationships. The secure, the avoidant, the ambivalent, and the disorganized.
I’ll address one of these today and others to follow.
The secure attachment style says “I am worthy of love, I am capable of love, and others are willing and able to love me.” The truth is, regardless of how well your needs were met as a child, you are still are worthy of God’s love, you are capable of love, and others can love you.
People that struggle in relationships probably are acting out the other styles of relationship, ie. the avoidant, ambivalent or the disorganized. More tomorrow.
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