Life

For example, the rule we have about “cars should not ever pull out in front of us” is our rule, our rule only, and not anyone else’s rule.  Sure, it makes sense; it would be nice if people always displayed courteous and safe driving habits. But the truth is, sometimes people will pull out in front of me.  The truth is, sometimes I make mistakes.  I am not perfect.  Others are not perfect.  So how do we avoid the anger?   We need to re-frame the irrational rules developed and replace them with rational and true thinking patterns. Learn to recognize rules that cause you trouble. Usually the rules we have adopted start with “I must always” or “I should,” “You must always,” “You should.”  For example, “I must be in control of...

Ever experience what is referred to as “road rage?” You know, someone pulls out in front of you on the road then slows to a crawling 35 mph in a 50 mph speed zone and you suddenly have the urge to pull up beside them and make obscene gestures with your hands or fingers. Or you decide to pull up as close as you can to their rear bumper and flash your headlights.  This is a good example of unhealthy anger that boils up when one of our rules are broken.  We all have rules about life, ourselves and others.  We have rules about how others should treat us. Rules about being on time, being accepted and how our children should behave. We have rules about how other children should behave. We establish our rules about  “knowing,” or being in control of...

Ever experience fear or anxiety when meeting new people or in social settings?  We’ve probably all felt some tension at one time or the other.  Where does this fear originate?  Multiple sources of evidence suggest that problematic social anxiety is directly related to our attempts to hide aspects of our “self” from others.  We might be telling our self that “If you really knew (_____ ) about me, you would reject me.”  We try and avoid scrutiny at times to avoid negative evaluation.  But more recent research seems to indicate that it’s not just the fear of negative evaluation by others but more related to the degree to which we BELIEVE the negative evaluation is true.  Do we believe the negative evaluation being conducted...

A challenge that I encounter with practically all of my clients deals with “feelings.”  Sometimes it’s used as an excuse for poor responses or behavior.  “But I feel hurt.”  “I just can’t help it, it’s the way I feel.”  Our feelings always result from our thoughts.  We tell our self something which then stimulates the “feeling.”  Emotions are not all powerful.  They seem very strong and can be ingrained over time making them difficult to manage, but we can manage our emotions by becoming aware of our self-talk and telling our self the truth about situations. Feelings often prevent us from looking at our self honestly and identifying our own faults.  Feelings often divert our attention to the...

A friend of mine (Andrea Warden) who attends Providence Church is on a mission trip to Kenya.  I received a note from her today and wanted to  share it with you. Our days have been very busy! The guys have been working hard on random construction projects and we, ladies, have been building relationships with the girls at the Neema Home. Yesterday, we had a special outing to work with a middle-aged married couple from Washington named Jeff & Carla Picicci. They began doing missions work in Kenya a few years ago and the Lord gave them a very clear, great vision to begin what is now called “Rehema Ministries” (rehemaministries.com). They have a home for abandoned babies/children. Last year when they began, they had around 30 kids and have doubled in...

Temperatures continued to rise on Tuesday July 21, 2009 to a sweltering 66 degrees Fahrenheit.  There appears to be no end in site as the mercury climbs higher and higher during these hot summer months.  Once again, air conditioners were left sitting idle while windows were thrown open for fresh air to penetrate and fill homes.  The nights bring even more pain and suffering as temps dipped to a chilly 58 degrees on Saturday night.  Residents of the northeast such as New York, Boston, and Philadelphia have been especially hard hit.  Tempers are flaring and there seems to be unrest on the streets and in homes.  We asked local residents of Downingtown PA how they were coping with the severity of global warming in their community. “If my husband drags out...