Life

Recently I attended a panel discussion led by senior level people who were asked to share key takeaways from their career journey.  What makes them successful?  Listed below are some of their ideas related to preparing resumes and interviewing for future positions. Develop the ability to communicate how your current and past skills are transferable to the new position you are seeking.  Link your current resume with future opportunities that may in fact be in a completely different field.  This contrasts with the mind set of “I’ve never done this before.” Develop the ability to move out of your comfort zone.  Look for ways to strengthen your self confidence if necessary.  Move away from fear and be willing to face the unknown. Make...

Making Good Decisions-Good decision making means first evaluating, exploring and then selecting the best options. Many couples I see for counseling experience problems related to poor financial decisions and unwise time management. There are a limited number of hours in the day.  I believe it is extremely difficult and risky to spend 12 hours of the day working on the job and still expect to be fully engaged with the family.  That leaves 12 hours, within which time, our bodies and minds need rest and sleep.  So, say you sleep 6 hours, you work 12 hours, which leaves 6 hours for managing the home, raising the kids, and cultivating your marriage relationship. I’m sure it can be done, but at what toll?  At whose expense?  Do the ends justify the...

Just went though a course on Crucial Conversations by Patterson, and Grenny, I highly recommend.  Should be required reading for all married couples. Anytime you find yourself stuck, there are crucial conversations keeping you there.  We must identify the crucial conversations we are not holding or not holding well, figure out where we are going wrong and fix it.  When we fail at having effective, open conversations it can effect our personal life, our career, our relationships, and our health. We have three options:  Avoid having them, face them and handle them poorly, or face them and handle them well. Avoiding the conversation will not bring the results we want to have.  It only postpones greater anxiety and conflict. For additional help contact me at...

Emotional and spiritual intimacy with our spouse requires vigilance, transparency and sharing which creates strong emotional bonds. These bonds have seminal origins and usually germinate during a healthy dating relationship prior to marriage.  A healthy dating relationship can help establish an early framework for spiritual and emotional bonding; however these bonds cannot completely be formed and sealed until man and woman enter into God’s ordained matrimonial covenant with each other. It is then a “mystery” that allows the two to become “one flesh” revealed. The challenges of marriage can persist throughout a relationship and can at times be intense and overwhelming.  However, couples are especially vulnerable shortly after...

Commitment-Successful marriages are built on an unwavering commitment that husband and wife make to each other and to God.  Without deep commitment, a deceptive, soft, comforting voice may begin playing in the background of our often unconscious self talk that grows louder and more prominent when troubles come (and they will surely come).  The self talk goes something like this; “if this doesn’t work out, I can always find someone else.” “I’m not appreciated or valued in this relationship so I’ll find someone who will offer me more happiness.”  “You never show me any attention.” The muffled volume of background self-talk sound more subtle in the beginning, but creates a potentially dangerous crack which...

I believe it’s important to get first things first.  Without commitment to the relationship, nothing else will matter.  Marriage, like most other relationships requires intentional efforts to maintain and establish emotional and spiritual intimacy. A third cornerstone to creating harmony in the relationship requires good decision making.  These three areas seem to surface as consistent sources and root causes for developing conflict and emotional detachment.  They share a continuous thread of commonality in most troubled marriages I work with. It’s important for couples to identify practical ways to reaffirm commitment, build trust, intimacy and a solid path for the future. Hopefully these next few blogs will challenge you and at the same time...