A challenge that I encounter with practically all of my clients deals with “feelings.” Sometimes it’s used as an excuse for poor responses or behavior. “But I feel hurt.” “I just can’t help it, it’s the way I feel.” Our feelings always result from our thoughts. We tell our self something which then stimulates the “feeling.” Emotions are not all powerful. They seem very strong and can be ingrained over time making them difficult to manage, but we can manage our emotions by becoming aware of our self-talk and telling our self the truth about situations. Feelings often prevent us from looking at our self honestly and identifying our own faults. Feelings often divert our attention to the faults of others. Feelings often cause us to deny that a problem exists. We don’t like the “feeling” we get when we confront evil or difficult situations and it “feels” better just to avoid or deny the problems and the possible solutions. Some “feel” that the best solution is actually more painful than the current confusion and dysfunctional relationship. We keep our eyes closed sometimes because of fear and pride. We fear loss, (loss of relationships, possessions, status, family, etc.) What we fail to recognize is the high cost of doing nothing and remaining in denial. Continued denial of the problems will result in emotional, physical, and spiritual death.
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