Saving the Planet by Combating Swine Flu
The company I work for has joined in the popular cultural, environmental revolution and is following the fad of “going green.” They’ve taken away our plastic forks and spoons, disposable cups and bottled water from the high school like cafeteria. The napkins are under lock and key requiring a safe combination to get my skinny little fingers in to the slots only to pull down something akin to thin sheet of toilet paper which dissolves on contact with liquid tomato sauce. The water faucets, towel dispensers, and soap dispensers are all automatically activated by a hand wave. I know all this is intended to save the planet and that’s all well and good (if you think our planet needs saving). But does it really save anything?
Dating Again
Couples must intentionally seek to set aside specific times for sharing, conversing, pleasure, and intimacy. Practically, this may mean becoming reacquainted with our spouse. It may mean securing a baby sitter and begin dating again. By dating I don’t mean going to a restaurant and arguing about unresolved issues or hurts over your cold french fries. It’s not sitting in a dark theatre together watching an “R” rated movie. It’s also not engaging in fault finding in the car on the way there and back home again. “Date nights” are not the appropriate time or place to resolve conflict. It’s not very romantic. It may however mean long walks or drives together, sending flowers, cards, or providing special favors or just holding hands. Maybe it’s that special eye to eye gaze. Each couple needs to identify their individual “love language.” What might be romantic to one could seem corny to someone else. At first, becoming reacquainted by “dating” may not be possible if the couple is unskilled in effective communication skills which always involve active listening. If this is the case, you may need to start with a counselor.
Looking for Work?
Recently I attended a panel discussion led by senior level people who were asked to share key takeaways from their career journey. What makes them successful? Listed below are some of their ideas related to preparing resumes and interviewing for future positions.
A Spade is a Spade
I’ve always disliked Senator Arlen Spector for his liberal votes and lack of back bone. And now I like him even less since he announced today he’s finally decided to call a spade a spade and join the democratic party. In case you’re not from PA or maybe you are and you’ve been oblivious to politics, Arlen was (is) the senator that republicans voted for and sent him to the senate for the last umpteen years. The claim is that he’s had a Damascus Road experience and a great light from heaven has now shown and lo and behold, he is more aligned with the demo party. Duh! Nothing new there. He blamed the republicans for moving too far to the right. Where? When? I’d like to meet one that’s moved to the right at all. I must have missed the shift. The repubublican party has never been so “moderate” (read John McCain) and look where it’s gotten us. Conservatives and conservative values are in exile.
Good Decision Making
Making Good Decisions-Good decision making means first evaluating, exploring and then selecting the best options. Many couples I see for counseling experience problems related to poor financial decisions and unwise time management. There are a limited number of hours in the day. I believe it is extremely difficult and risky to spend 12 hours of the day working on the job and still expect to be fully engaged with the family. That leaves 12 hours, within which time, our bodies and minds need rest and sleep. So, say you sleep 6 hours, you work 12 hours, which leaves 6 hours for managing the home, raising the kids, and cultivating your marriage relationship. I’m sure it can be done, but at what toll? At whose expense? Do the ends justify the means?
Have That Crucial Conversation
Just went though a course on Crucial Conversations by Patterson, and Grenny, I highly recommend. Should be required reading for all married couples.
Anytime you find yourself stuck, there are crucial conversations keeping you there. We must identify the crucial conversations we are not holding or not holding well, figure out where we are going wrong and fix it. When we fail at having effective, open conversations it can effect our personal life, our career, our relationships, and our health.
The Burmuda Triangle of Marriage
In the default mindset of emotional isolation, triangles are often created to compensate for the lack of intimacy. Based on family theory systems, when parents cannot solve their conflicts, they are likely to pull in the child who helps to release anxiety and tension. Triangulation occurs when one of the partners (husband or wife) invites a third party to confide in, or escape to, for the purpose of filling one’s emptiness which occurs when emotional intimacy is missing.
Said I wouldn’t do this….
Check out good article….
Intimacy
Emotional and spiritual intimacy with our spouse requires vigilance, transparency and sharing which creates strong emotional bonds. These bonds have seminal origins and usually germinate during a healthy dating relationship prior to marriage. A healthy dating relationship can help establish an early framework for spiritual and emotional bonding; however these bonds cannot completely be formed and sealed until man and woman enter into God’s ordained matrimonial covenant with each other. It is then a “mystery” that allows the two to become “one flesh” revealed.
Commitment
Commitment-Successful marriages are built on an unwavering commitment that husband and wife make to each other and to God. Without deep commitment, a deceptive, soft, comforting voice may begin playing in the background of our often unconscious self talk that grows louder and more prominent when troubles come (and they will surely come). The self talk goes something like this; “if this doesn’t work out, I can always find someone else.” “I’m not appreciated or valued in this relationship so I’ll find someone who will offer me more happiness.” “You never show me any attention.” The muffled volume of background self-talk sound more subtle in the beginning, but creates a potentially dangerous crack which widens over time and weakens the foundation of a healthy marriage relationship. There must be a deep, illuminating resolve within each individual, regardless of the obstacles confronted as a couple, that says “we will face this together and we will work it out”.
Recent Comments