Like I said yesterday, it’s been a while since I’ve flown. Traveling without having a stroke or cussing someone out in the airport requires a system and much practice. If you get out of practice, look out. So, here are some Do’s and Don’ts that will hopefully make flying easier for you on your next trip. Get ready to adjust your expectations (lower) and you’ll be fine. Expect only to arrive alive and hopefully you will.
Do realize that you will be treated and spoken to as cattle the moment you arrive at the airport. If flying out of Philadelphia, remember that you will be yelled and screamed at to get in line, stay in line, and remove all clothes (belts, shoes, jackets, etc) and for God’s sake take your computer out of the bag to lay flat on the conveyor belt. Don’t forget your clear plastic bags. If you try and carry on a tube of toothpaste or over 3 ounces of hair gel it will be confiscated and tossed in the trash for the TSA agents to take home and sell. Arrive at the airport early and realize that you will routinely wait in security lines for approximately 30 minutes on a good day. On a bad day, anticipate 1 hour. Forget about speaking to a live person at the ticket counter unless of course you are placed under arrest for loitering as you try and search for a live person. It’s all about Kiosks now.
Don’t expect your flight to arrive at your destination or leave on time. Don’t expect to board the plane if you are 1 minute late and the cabin door has closed. Don’t expect any type of customer service unless you pay for it. This includes baggage handling, a soft drink, chips, sandwiches, pillows, or economy seats with 5 blessed extra inches of leg room (a deal at $30). Don’t expect your checked luggage to arrive when you do.
Isn’t traveling fun? If you adjust your expectations, you’ll do fine.
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