When my two boys left home for college the first time ( about 8 yrs ago) I was 48 yrs old. My life was moving too rapidly for me. Where had time gone? What had I accomplished? Would I live another 30 yrs? Where would I go from here? It included all of those life and death weighty questions that more and more men are becoming aware of and are now just beginning to articulate with a little more clarity (in their own heads if not out loud). In the past, it wasn’t really acceptable (read masculine) for men to admit their fear of mortality or their dread of aging and the bodily function failures that so often occur. Hey I admit it, I’m scared. So instead of admitting and discussing these apprehensive notions, we just put on gold chains, leave the top two shirt buttons “unbuttoned,” buy new red sports cars, comb our hair over in weird looking ways to cover bald spots and spray on extra cologne. In some instances, this fear and apprehension related to discovering our mortality and feelings of low self worth lead some (present company excluded) to test their sexual prowess once again, hence “mid-life crisis.” I chose to go back to school and study something that has always fascinated me; psychology and the mind.
As my youngest son graduates from law school this Saturday, I feel like I’m passing through MLC II. I’m approaching another phase of my life as I consider retirement. I find myself grappling with the same types of questions I experienced 8 years ago during MLC I. What have I accomplished? How much time do I have left? How will I be remembered? What do I do about my sagging stomach and chest muscles, my 10 pound weight increase, and my droopy eyes that I can barely see out of?
During MLC I, I believe I made a wise choice of going back to school to earn a masters degree in counseling. I’m not sure yet what road I’ll choose to follow this time during MLC II, but I hope I’ll make another wise decision to maximize however many years I have left. I just hope I’ll be able to do it this time …on a warm southern beach with white sand and a glass of merlot.
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