In the default mindset of emotional isolation, triangles are often created to compensate for the lack of intimacy. Based on family theory systems, when parents cannot solve their conflicts, they are likely to pull in the child who helps to release anxiety and tension. Triangulation occurs when one of the partners (husband or wife) invites a third party to confide in, or escape to, for the purpose of filling one’s emptiness which occurs when emotional intimacy is missing.
Some triangles may provide a level of stability for the family without causing damage. Other people outside the home or objects and diversionary activities can also help form the triangle. For example, instead of intentionally trying to work through and resolve difficult problems together as a couple or with the assistance of a counselor, the husband (or wife) retreats to excessive work schedules, alcohol abuse, excessive shopping, hours and hours of video games, pornography, or spending an inordinate amount of time with other friends and activities outside the home and outside of the marriage relationship. I’ve even had clients complain that the household pet (dog, cat) receives more love and affection than they receive (the pet now becomes part of the emotional triangle). Of course, as more information surfaces, this is often the result of inaccessibility by (the husband) spending Saturday and Sunday on the golf course as an excuse for male bonding. Or the result of emotional detachment and inaccessibility of (the wife) going on a 3 day shopping spree. It’s no wonder why Lassie (name your pet) sometimes receives more love and affection; because they’re never inaccessible and they seldom withdraw.
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