Emotional and spiritual intimacy with our spouse requires vigilance, transparency and sharing which creates strong emotional bonds. These bonds have seminal origins and usually germinate during a healthy dating relationship prior to marriage. A healthy dating relationship can help establish an early framework for spiritual and emotional bonding; however these bonds cannot completely be formed and sealed until man and woman enter into God’s ordained matrimonial covenant with each other. It is then a “mystery” that allows the two to become “one flesh” revealed.
The challenges of marriage can persist throughout a relationship and can at times be intense and overwhelming. However, couples are especially vulnerable shortly after marriage, as newly weds adjust to living together. These challenges come in a variety of forms but more frequently are the result of financial stresses and difficulties, illness, emotional “baggage” consisting of current or unresolved issues from the family of origin (my parents, my siblings; her parents, her siblings, past abuse etc) and unplanned pregnancies. These challenges are often compounded by the couple’s inability to effectively communicate or resolve conflicts.
Emotional and spiritual intimacy must be preserved, nourished, and intentionally cultivated at all times in order for a marriage to thrive and flourish. Healthy couples should be able to talk about a full range of issues and feelings without undue anxiety or conflict. When the marriage relationship is attacked and conflict arises, the more comfortable default stance is to construct emotional walls which prevent and deter communication and block emotional intimacy. It seems too painful to talk about it especially if the couple lacks good conflict resolution skills.
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